It's a New year, and I haven't posted yet!

I noticed I was letting my blog slip, but I have no idea what to really write... I could ramble on all day about my everyday life, but that bores even me... and often can be depressing... I've thought about it long an hard, and I think I'm going to find myself a pen pal... I've wanted to for years, but every time I turned around and was ready to find myself one, we moved... Now days I have a laptop, and I can do everything via-Internet.... So perhaps soon I'll start blogging about that? I don't know... I don't have any real hobbies except Roleplaying... I used to do nothing but Write and Draw.... I haven't drawn anything seriously in a long time... A little Fan-art here and there, and that's about it. Most days, I do nothing but sit on my ass at my computer and Roleplay with my friends... I'm still waiting for our tax papers to come back so I can do Fasfa and get back into college again. My mom and Bill won't let me get a job, sadly... With no job, I have no income, with no income, I can't pay for Gas, or even get a car... With no car, I'm stuck at home unless my friends come all the way out here and get me.

Since mom and Bill both are Unemployed as well, we have no Tv, so I've nothing to distract me but the internet, They have been looking for jobs, but since the bottom fell out a few months, and we had to leave FL... Bills never been the same. Nothing seems to Motivate him, and he dosn't really even try anymore. I found out they had to take out a loan, I don't know how they thought they were going to pay it... but in the end, my grandparents had given each of there children 5k... My great Grandma Jewl Passed away a little while back, and My grandfather wanted to split his inheritance between his kids... If it weren't for that, I don't know what we'd have done.... Most of it went to pay off the loan apparently, and everything else was to keep us living. We didn't have a Christmas this year... We did, but it was really small... We had a wonderful dinner, and I got a book and a Nightcover for Christmas... Mom and Bill got 10$ gift cards from me.... We still managed to have a good Christmas. It was painfully sad, but we kept smiling. We were lucky to have a roof over our heads, there are people out there who don't even have that. We're doing a bit better since then now, I have Internet again. While we still worry, we're not trying to dig under the couch for coins anymore... Mom and I do oddjobs for cash sometimes. She's fed up with this county though, no one apparently wants to hire her.... I keep telling her to widen her search to Gainsvill and Jaxsonvil.. but she's apparently decided she's going to put an add in the Newspaper and start cleaning houses as a living.



In any case, we're doing a lot better than we had been, thanks to my Grandparents.... Yesterday, my boyfriend hurt my pride... I'd been keeping most of how we are doing low and a secret from everyone around me. He knows a little of how we're doing... but not all of it... He asked me how it was we can't do anything money wise, and yet we're going on all these trips up north. His tone had been one of sarcasm... That actually hurt... and kind of pissed me off... Here his family is going out all the time to go four wheeling and camping, they have two ps3's and are living comfortably... I'm listening to him complain almost every day how he doesn't have anything... And he does that. I was... not very happy. I did my best not to hang up on his ass, or show I was anything less than amused and told him that my grandpa had paid for those trips... I didn't need him knowing we couldn't live where we were anymore because we couldn't afford it, and that we'd gone up their to work for my uncle....  My mom and Bill have gone through great lengths to keep me protected from this, but me being me, I can get anything out of my mother and I pay more attention than they think I do... But for me to hear that from him...
I don't know if I can take him anymore... I have too much on my mind without having to deal with his weak and spoiled ass unloading his "problems" on me... When he's not complaining he's talking about his stupid guild... I used to be a part of it... and it was cool when it started, but it's been taken over by Illiterate little kids... and it kills me to try to read their posts... It's just plain lame now... and he still seems to think he's the baddest shit that ever hit the roleplay world.. yet he spells "Of" as "Ov" half the time.... and his Character is... not a character... it's him with a different name and looks like he tried to upgrade a kids toy to make it cool.... and it came out lame... and Shallow...
  He's just been doing nothing but pissing me off lately... 
I'm just not made out for this happy, lovey dovey crap...




On a side note, My friends Neverlove, BrokenWolf, and Lucky have been the best.... They distract me from EVERYTHING that's been depressing me lately~ And they put up with my occasional ranting... I'm know I often seem rather self centered... but hell... I hate that about myself... and blame my mommy for raising me an only child... I keep catching myself turning convorsations... I don't like that... But they put up with me... and I love them for it.... I don't know if they'll ever know how much they mean to me... right now, those three are my best friends... The others that people usually assosiate me with... have their own friends and I'm just really a side project.. I am for most of my friends... Mozzy Excluded from that list... But Chii and Gerhkin... I was the third wheel on their friendship, I always knew that they were best friends with eachother... when they split, I don't know what happened... I love them both despite the fact I was third wheel, I was okay with it... I had lots of friends through highschool... But those two and Meredith were the closest to me... and I was third wheel to all of them... With Meredith, who say's I'm her Bestie... It's almost always her... me... and her boyfriend... whichever one it is... I love meredith... but again... awkward third wheel on my part... The girl is absolutly boy sex crazy... -____- something I'm actually not...
I don't think I've had a real best friend since Stephani D. From Elementry.... I've always been part of a group of friends...
When Chii and Gehrkin split, the two wheels went in opposite directions and I was sort of one wheeling it through everything since....
Kayleigh, Caitlin, and Cory.... Aka Lucky, Neverlove, and Broken Wolf.... have probably been the only reason I even get up anymore for the last... two-three months...
And I love them dearly for that. Having to deal with all this crap on my own has been hard, but those three have kept me going...
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!